Saturday, March 5, 2016

When He Least Expected It

It Can Happen When You Least Expect It - A Real Life Story

For the past several years now, I've been writing transgender captions, in addition to transgender novels written under an assumed name. Why is it that I write these stories? It's because I am romantically frustrated...having been out of a relationship for over two decades and having no prospects for dates (let alone potential marriage partners) at the present time.

The caption you will be reading later today is called "When He Least Expected It". It was 31 years ago today that I met my last girlfriend...and I didn't expect for this to happen. This is a true story.

I had not been accepted as "dating material" by girls my age and older (that, sadly, never happened). I was 18 years old, and preparing to graduate from high school. Due to traumatic experiences I had in my high school years, I had to be in special education classes for the last two years of high school. I had just gotten over a cold, which kept me out of school the previous week. It had been nearly two years since my life was threatened by the boyfriend of an older girl I once liked. To this day, it's been very hard to forgive her for letting this traumatic event happen to me. I did not expect to meet anyone I could consider "relationship material", let alone fall in love.

I was drawn to a rather thin, but athletic, light brown-haired girl who was ten days away from her 14th birthday. Yes, I had no other choice but to "rob the cradle". I ignored the consternation of my classmates and my teachers, and pursued this girl. We were holding hands by the lunch hour. With the coach's back turned, we shared our first kiss during Physical Education class. With the teacher's back turned, we shared two more kisses and shared our first "I love yous" before I finished school for the day; I had an early dismissal for my then twice-weekly visits with my psychotherapist. What would draw a 13-year-old girl to an 18-year-old man rejected by girls his own age or older? She felt sorry for me, being in a class surrounded by the throwaways of the academic system.

For eight and a half years, we shared our hopes and dreams. We shared many hugs and kisses. About halfway in, I asked her to be my wife. She accepted; however, I started to discover that we had come from two different family backgrounds. Her parents' marriage began to fall apart even before we began dating. By contrast, my parents had a stable marriage. I was looking forward to a career in the radio broadcasting field. I stayed in that relationship for as long as I did out of the fear that if I had to leave her for any reason, I would never be able to find another girlfriend again. I had to fight two African-American men for her (I ultimately won...she was a Caucasian, like me). The end of our relationship was a very unhappy ending. This was in September of 1993. Her parents were in the middle of a very ugly and bitter divorce; they tried to drag me into it. She gave back my engagement ring; I was in denial for two months after that. When I finally accepted the fact that it was, indeed, over, I was eager to date again. My first date came too soon after breaking up; it was nearly four months after ending my last relationship with a transgender woman. I saw her a few times before discovering she had another boyfriend.

I laid low until the spring of 1996; I was hoping that there was still a few single women left near my age who would make themselves emotionally available to me. Everything I tried just didn't work. I even tried online dating; that's when I acquired a new problem: women not showing up on dates. Many were my age or older; I got stood up about 75% of the time. My frustration with dating, let alone romance, increased so much that I had to gradually move out of the dating scene. By the time I returned to college in 1999 (I had a two-year degree in Broadcasting, which I received in the summer of 1993), I had given up on ever getting a date with a woman my age or older. I was, for all practical purposes, out of the dating scene by the end of 2005. I even had to go out of town for my last date; when that didn't pan out, I had no choice but to give up on love. Yet, there was always writing my romantic frustrations out...which I do in part through the captions you see on this page.

My writing will always be there...but I don't expect to ever find love again. Then again, I could find it when I least expect it, like I did 31 years ago today. Even though it didn't result in my desired goal of being a faithful husband and loving father to any children I would have had, it was something that most likely may never happen to me again. To me, love and romance is nothing but a dream; a beautiful fantasy.